Monday, September 17, 2007


I wasn't surprised when my son announced (after going to school for a few days) that he didn't want to go back.

And I wasn't surprised when the only friends he has discussed were girls (mostly blondes with blue eyes.)

But I was blindsided by the invitation I picked up in his school mailbox. It was to a birthday party for a boy in his class whom neither of us knows.

My son cannot tell me who this kid is, and I've never met him either. So I'm stumped. What the heck is a mom to do?

I suppose I have a few choices, none of which I particularly like:

1. Have my young'un attend the party and treat it as an opportunity to meet other parents while he (hopefully) plays.

2. Call the mother and lie, stating that we cannot make it for one reason or another. (Is saying, "We have to wash the cat..." wrong?)

3. Call the mother and tell the truth--I'm uncomfortable sending my child to a party for a boy just because they have been in the same class together for all of five days.

Motherhood. It's fraught with such bizarre dilemmas. And I can't figure out how to deal with most of them.


SzélsőFa said...

Hello, I've find your momma blog at least.
My solution would be to call the mom who's inviting the kids and tell her promptly that you don't know the kid and suggest some alternatives.
Like you accompany your kid and/or let him play for a short while and see how it goes.../stay in the car outside, just in case you are needed...
It depends how old your son is...
Here in Hungary, kids in the first grade are 7-8 years old, but as far as I know in the US they are in a delicate age of 5 (?).
It depends on how your son is dealing with strange places and situations. If he makes friends easily and behaves well in a strange home, than go for it.
If he's the shy, don't touch me type, than I'd wait until he gets stronger.
But again, it's your son, you know him better than I do...

Beth said...

This is typical. This is how socialization starts. My kids used to invite the entire class to school, just to be fair.

I definitely would not lie. I think your son should go, but perhaps you could offer to stick around for a bit. I've had LOTS of parents do this and didn't mind at all. As a paranoid parent, as a careful parent, I totally understood ... I just didn't think my paranoia should be an excuse to keep them from being social.

The Quoibler said...


My son is only four, so that makes it all much stranger, though at this age, all parents attend parties. You're right--the older they are, the easier it can be.

My son is pretty good about meeting new people and isn't shy; but he has shown NO interest in this kid. He still doesn't even know which kid it is! And his class only has around 15 or so children in it! So that tells me he might not be interested in attending.

Beth: My little guy does love to socialize, but usually with adults and not other kids. Guess that's the "only child" syndrome, though I was an only and was comfortable around all age groups. (However, I did feel more "like" adults than my peers.)

Ironically, he is going to a birthday party for someone he DOES know (who is not in his class at school--he knows her from a different setting) the day before. So perhaps I can use the "two parties in one weekend" line to back out gracefully, but not rudely. It won't be a lie, which I like.


I want to go play on a swingset.